Tuesday, December 08, 2009

Atheism 6.2

I found the following drifting lazily down through an eddy in the time-space continuum...

In Atheism 6.2
The features that we add for you
Revise the changes we’d begun
In 5.5 through 6.1

In 5.5 through 5.7
Metaphors of hell and heaven
Were allowed, but pearly gates
Were strictly seen as 5.8’s

You must remember 5.9,
In which we said communion wine
Was for the first time “good to go”
(We took it back in 6.0.)

But frankly, wine was lots of fun,
So just as quickly, 6.1
Restored the wine, now 6.2
Allows us cheese and crackers, too.

But wine and crackers, even cheeses
Are not blood, nor flesh of Jesus,
(Once, of course, we called it true,
But that was version 4.2.)

Accomodationism maths
Makes some folks mad as psychopaths
They rant and rave like total jerks
And say “The beta version works!”

It has no bugs; it needs no mods,
It’s simply “no belief in gods”
But whiny people soon complained,
So changes soon were entertained

The purists say it came undone
As early on as 1.1
Which left believers free to claim
That “God” was “Nature’s other name”

Before you knew it, 1.3
Included “spirituality”
From there, by pieces, fits, and starts,
The later versions hit the charts

I wonder, what could be in store
For 6.3 and 6.4.
So pick your fave, and start a schism.
One thing it’s not… is atheism.


Context? Sure... PZ writes about Atheism 3.0... He terms it "Atheist, but...". I much prefer "Atheist and". Not "atheist and spiritual", that would be an example of an "atheist but". I prefer "Atheist and versemonger", or "atheist and dad" or "atheist and late for dinner". Not an atheism that has to be blended with religion or spirituality or anything else, but atheism that is perfectly well defined, now what else are you?

7 comments:

Unknown said...

Saw this wonderful piece on Pharyngula. Supremely clever - cheers.

Derek CA said...

Hahaha, well said, my friend. Very clever indeed. :D

Anonymous said...

The development team responds:

"Atheism version 2
Requires a service pack, for sure.
Although it's safe and not-so-new,
It makes us feel insecure."

Olaf Davis said...

This is great. I suspect I may soon be 'atheist and donating to the cuttlekitty'.

C W Magee said...

For some people, the only acceptable version is Athiesm four-point-no.

ButchPansy said...

I'm an atheist landscaper.

Anonymous said...

I feel a stab of nostalgia for my DOS 6.22 days. Awesome poem!